Love letter to La

                         


You could say I have been known to moan and groan on this blog, whinge about life as a carer and the toll it all takes on family life.
  At it's centre, and indeed in its title, is the glorious La and today I want to cast all the negatives aside and write about La's magnificent persona and why we all adore her so much.
  Impossible to put into words, you really have to meet this spectacular individual to get the gist, but here goes.
  At the risk of sounding like an award ceremony nomination,here's what La is and how she affects the rest of us:

• The most original dancer I have ever seen
• The sloppiest kisser in the world
• The greatest appreciator of my cooking in the family - can't remember a refusal in 22 and a half years
• Fantastically musical - amazing retention of a tune and innovative compositions
• Hugely cheerful at all times - great person to have around in the bad times
• Overwhelmingly enthusiastic about life
• Uncomplicated in what she expects of other people
• An original sense of style with her own tremendous pzazz
• Adoring of her three sisters 
• Endlessly curious
• Takes pleasures in the very simple things
• Contented with her lot
• A quirky sense of humour which makes her the family clown, by her own choice

.......the be continued ........

Coping strategies

If I gave you a penny for every time someone said to a carer, 
'You need to look after yourself'...well, I'd be truly loaded, naturellement.
  In those moments when you are free of your caring duties, carers probably have work, other children/family members to attend to as well as housework, admin and all the crap we live with that has to be got through. Cast that aside and then, if you're lucky there's a tiny space. Some carers swap notes at carer groups, others even go out and work in special schools/day centres or volunteer as supporters.
  I have to say I have shunned all that like mad, desperate for that non-carer identity, keen to be somewhere, doing something where people do not necessarily know that I'm a carer and have no idea that an hour ago I was wiping a 22 year old's bottom and will be maybe an hour hence. It's not that I'm in denial. it's just that I need a break in every sense from the role.
  For 11 years I had a pretty stressful job, albeit working from home, running a Families mag. Now (praise the Lord), that is behind me and I have a new venture, Carer's Allowance and lots more time for my de-stressers like gardening, reading and catching up with my beloved friends. Best of all though, after a Carer's Assessment last year I was awarded a modest amount, per week to 'access the community'. 
  'Access the what?' Well basically what is being suggested is that carers need small bribes to 'Get out more'. It takes a while but a dollop of money is plonked into a special bank account specially designated for 'Getting out more'. You have to supply a reconciliation form every quarter with receipts, etc to prove that you've not been squandering it on gin and if it's unspent, you haver to pay it all back, in my case to Surrey County Council. What's not to like?
  I was pretty non-plussed/too stressed to begin to imagine the possibilities at first. The social worker tentatively suggested I try Yoga and, devoid of all other ideas, I latched onto that and thank goodness.
  To use up my allocation I needed to go twice a week which takes about 5 hours out of my week. I never thought I'd make it but now I'm not sure how I managed before.
  What does it give me? Everything anyone has ever told you about yoga/meditation/Tai Chi - empowerment, strength, calm, insight, peace, sleep - all of which has to be great for La too.
  So thanks Surrey CC - it would be stretching a point to say in these hard times I get Yoga on the state but it's almost true!

La loves Spain

Some holidays with La have been historically horrendous for reasons I may return to another time. Not this one. It may be a different country to the usual but she has everything need to complete contentment:

• Her immediate family's (almost) full attention
• A spacious space to retire to
• Satellite tv
• Car rides with 'mooosic'

What's more, she has made a new lunchtime discovery 'El menu del dia' - a cheap and cheerful three-course meal widely available here which most definitely suite her taste.

The locals get her too and she's given the bread first and enjoys all the rest - the spicy sauces, the garlic mayonnaise, the chips with everything and the delicately spiced rice pudding to top it all off!

On Good Friday she even coped with the crowds and enjoyed the religious procession of statues because they had bands and drums.

 No wonder she has a new word '(S)Pain!' which she repeats with great wonder.

Spending lots of time with La

At times, quite simply, La is a delight. A peaceful and relaxed family member who adds mostly humour to the proceedings.
  For the last few days she has replied:'Yes please!' to every suggestion. Ok during the holidays most suggestions are quite amenable.
  She managed to navigate the much dreaded passage through T5 with the utmost of ease. Every official-looking uniformed person La encountered was told, 'I want to go home'. The security guy checking our hand baggage and shoes for bombs could see the funny side. The BA woman on the check-in gate, not so much.
  La loved her breakfast in a Madrid bar. It was full of men reading the sports reports while they munched on churros. La lurched into their personal space hoping to make a grab at their reading matter but with a quick waft of the hand she got the message ok and moved onto the next candidate.
  Only two horrendous moments so far. The first in a supermarket in the middle of nowhere where the locals were so intrigued by the eccentric stranger in the shop they gathered in huddles to stare and blocked the aisles. I'll admit, panicked by the fact that I didn't know how to say 'excuse me' in Spanish I had a mini meltdown. So actually it could have been the mad mother who they are still talking about there.
  The second event was when she leaned on a display cabinet in our holiday home and brought some glass ornaments smashing to the floor.
  One day, how we will laugh....