Letting go of La

Forget elephant, there's a whole herd of elephants filling up our house, with questions about La's future. Sometimes eyebrows are raised at the fact that at 22, she's still living with us. Her youngest sister (M) goes to university in September and after that the elephants could begin to really crowd us out.
  There a simple reason why, despite all these years, there is no concrete plan in place for the future and so many of them were addressed by Rosa Monckton's so poignant BBC documentary this week called Letting Go. Because nothing, nothing ever feels quite right or good enough for our lovely La.
  La is a home-loving girl with her own space and routines which work for all of us. We know she craves more lively company than a couple of 50 somethings who like nothing more than a potter in the garden, a quiet meal out or an afternoon reading the paper. The (few) care homes we have visited are staffed by cheery people doing their best on a very small wage, no doubt, but they feel bland, clinical places, not like a real home.
  So we share Rosa's difficult dilemma in needing to make some big decisions for someone who can't make them herself but sure I have an idea or two.
  I dream of somewhere semi-rural with a real sense of community with La's Dad and I not too far away, increasingly doing our own thing too. Of La initially sharing her life between her new home and the family she has grown up in so that slowly she can let go of Mum and Dad and find her feet somewhere perfect. A place where people remember and revel in her funny little ways as we do. A place where she can make decisions and from new friendships. A place where her days are full of appropriate, seasonal and meaningful activities. A place where she learns to do more than we could ever imagine.
  To get all that I think there will be major battles and upheavals for we can't see anything remotely like that locally. The Day centre La attends has many great feature and La loves it for now - but in 20, 30 years?