Bedtime with La

Just look at La - I have seen this gorgeous face at rest for nearly 23 years and it will always be one of the most utterly beautiful things in my life.


Getting to this point in the day isn't as easy for us as for most people.  La manages to go through periods on an astonishing small amount of sleep. When she's sleeping well, a certain procedure must be followed and, suckers that we are, me and La's Dad are slaves to it.

You know how we all have our funny little routines and ways? Things we do day in, day out without even thinking and which would astonish even those very close to us?

Over the weekend it occurred to me how ridiculous the bedtime rituals are in our house. They have evolved into a rather odd and somewhat prolonged sequence of events which is by no means 'normal' for 22 year olds nor for their parents.

How we long sometimes for the days when at 7pm four little girls were bathed and in bed. Of course three of them are fine, it's just that La....

Well, in with us every night we usually have a pretty companionable evening doing what most families do which involves cups of tea, naughty snacks, usually involving cheese, V+ on the telly and intermittent observations about the day's events. 

There comes a point though, when we all need to wind down and that is generally at the early hour of 9pm. Luckily, La on a good day, does seem to need masses of sleep so if we're very lucky, she may just go to bed if we commence the ritual at this point:

1 Dispense sodium valproate (anti-epilepsy drug)

2 Collect all La's 'stuff' which by this time in the evening encompasses a duvet, pillows, cushions, various magazines and shopping bags and carry upstairs - can take a few trips!

3 Close all downstairs doors - a fire precaution which La is fastidious about

4 If sisters are out, ensure front door is unbolted and outside light is on

Once upstairs, we do our cleansing and toothbrushing and me and La's Dad get undressed. For La to be happy I need to be wearing a nightie and a dressing gown at this point. La's Dad, for some reason must be attired in boxer shorts and socks only (yes I know!)

Before we can proceed to La's bedroom, La's Dad's computer must be emphatically shut down.

We then progress forth to La's room down the landing with La's Dad in the lead, then me, and La bringing up the rear. The landing light is switched on.

Once in the bedroom;

1 Her music is switched off and curtains drawn

2 La gives me a big hug/lurch and asks any /all of the follwing questions'what's for tea?' (tomorrow); 'what do we do today?' ' Go car?'. I need to come up with a plausible, acceptable and truthful answers for her to feel peaceful

3 She settles into bed with all her many possessions

4 She arranges her special 'sniffy pillow' over her head

5 La's Dad places her duvet over her and with a cheery 'goodnight! we retire and switch off the landing light


(If we're away from home, this routine must be replicated as closely as possible - a challenge).

So far, so 'normal', you may be saying, but what if it's one of the many nights where all is not right with the routine. To do all this once is quite a rarity. It may be that

1 A crucial pillow is missing

2 A crucial parent is missing
3 A crucial we are no idea what is missing 

4 La has managed a sneaky nap in the late afternoon/early evening

5 La is not feeling well

6 La, is full of energy/excitement
7 Heaven help us, there's some kind of outside disturbance in our usually sleepy street and garden

Of course most 22 year olds would be out socialising at this early hour so problem 6 is a tricky one.

If we hit any of these issues, we retire to our bed and pretend to be asleep. This is meant to make La bored but sometimes she can

1 Attempt to get into bed with us

2 Lie down on our bedroom floor and drop off - problem!

3 Drag us out of bed only to repeatedly refuse to get into her own. Unfortunately there are numerous musical instruments in La's bedroom and La may ring the bells, bang the bongos or attempt to make a noise out of a French horn mute.
4 Ask, longingly for her beloved sisters, her Ga-Ga (grandad)and his two dogs.

We have to try to keep straight faces or worse, be monosyllabic and control our exasperation as La should not detect anything from us rather than a reassuring fatigue on our part.

This process can continue up to midnight - three long hours.

However long it takes, beyond that I need at least 30 mins of La-free time before I nod off. La's Dad, like her, is out like a light. Bless them both.